You probably landed on this blog post because you want to learn how to give the best handjob. Do you want to satisfy your man without spreading your legs or sucking him dry? If your answer is a resounding yes, then you should definitely scroll down to read the rest!
A handjob should be more than just stroking the penis until he comes. There’s an art associated with it, and it’s sort of like foreplay- yes, you can go through the motions, but there’s so much more you can offer (more tips and techniques later!) For now, let’s focus on defining a handjob, the difference between a handjob and a blowjob, and the things you can do while giving one.
Related: The Ultimate Blowjob Tips You Have To Try
What is a Handjob?
So let’s assume you’re a total beginner at sex and foreplay. You don’t have that much experience other than straight-up penetration, fingering, or the usual hand-over-the-breast motions. The word ‘handjob’ is entirely new to you, and you may have thought that it was a thing you do at work (you know, because of the ‘job’ association).
So, to set the record straight and so you’ll know how to properly throw the word around (not in casual conversations), a handjob is a sexually stimulating technique that involves you or your partner’s hand and a cock. It’s not male masturbation, mainly because another person is doing the stroking, but it’s similar in terms of process and execution. Handjobs can be classified into the act of masturbation, which in itself carries no risk of acquiring STDs.
You can do a handjob as part of foreplay (before penetration) or as the main event, where your man will spill his juice after stroking him through ejaculation and orgasm. It’s versatile enough that it can be used at any point during sex, as well as the places that you can give it. Fancy going for a quick handjob in the car, or maybe even in the dressing room of a mall? Feel free to experiment and be adventurous if you want, but don’t get caught!
Like with any sexual penetration, stroking, or pleasuring, there’s an important element involved- keeping it frictionless and as wet and slippery as possible. A handjob definitely requires some sort of lubricant- it can be your spit, scented lotion, or a straight-up lube product. It can be soap, baby oil, or whatever you have on hand as long as it doesn’t sting or cause skin rashes.
Is Handjob Different From Blowjob?
Asking this question in real life may elicit giggles and guffaws, but hey, you have to learn sometime, right?
Here’s the thing- a handjob is different from a blowjob. In the simplest explanation, a handjob is stroking a cock using your hands (hence the name), while a blowjob is pleasuring a guy’s manhood using your mouth and tongue. The word ‘blow’ gets thrown in there because, from a guy’s perspective, the partner is ‘blowing’ or sucking his dick.
In my opinion, a blowjob is harder to do but it’s more pleasurable in your partner’s eyes. A handjob, on the other hand, can be done with minimal effort, and you can usually do other things while you’re at it. Plus, it’s a great alternative when you’re too tired to have sex.
All in all, giving a great handjob should be part of everyone’s sexual repertoire. If you want to make your partner happy, you should be well-versed in this forgotten art because it can keep them cumming back for more, pun intended.
The Best Handjob Positions
There are several positions you can assume when you’re giving a handjob. Most of them require you to sit down or kneel, and there’s quite a bit of leeway involved, e.g., you can put a pillow on the floor so your knees won’t hurt, or sit in a position that feels okay to you. In some cases, you can lie down on the bed and stroke until kingdom come if that’s what you and your partner want to experience.
Kneel While He Stands
This handjob position is pretty straightforward- the partner assumes a kneeling position in front of the guy, and the guy stands up straight. Typically, you and your partner will be making eye contact throughout as you stroke or receive stimulation.
As you might expect, it’s popular for those who want to be on the submissive or dominating end of it (depending on what you’re going for). You look up and feel like you’re doing a service, while your partner guides you on how you can proceed. If he’s the take-charge kind of guy then you can bet that he will be delighted and enjoy the experience.
With one hand free, you can do what you want. If you’re feeling horny yourself, you can just reach down and rub your clitoris, or insert a finger or two to simulate penetration. Your partner can spice things up by grabbing your hair, cupping your face, or talking dirty.
Sitting as He Lies Down on the Bed
Often called ‘The Standard’ of handjob positions, this will have you both on the bed and albeit in different positions. Your man will be lying down on his back or sitting back comfortably, while you will be in ‘work mode’, kneeling and arched over his cock. Alternatively, you can just lie or sit in between your partner’s legs as you stroke.
Much like the ‘kneel while he stands’ position, your partner won’t be able to do much except touching your hair or your breasts. You’ll be doing most of the work, and sometimes you won’t be able to pleasure yourself because you’ll be having the other hand down on the mattress for balancing purposes.
To make things more exciting, you can let him see your full sexiness and curves by bending down and slightly pushing your butt into the air. Refrain from looking down- alternate your eyes between the cock you’re stroking and your partner’s expressions. Remember, it’s a labor of love and not a chore.
Kneel While He Sits
Don’t have a bed or something to lie on? It’s no excuse to not do something naughty. A chair and a not-too-hard floor should suffice and be enough to get your partner to cum. You’ll be kneeling or sitting down between your partner’s spread legs as he sits.
Your man gets to have an amazing view of your face and your tits, while you have a chance to play the submissive role. Both parties greatly benefit from this position- he feels more powerful as he sits on his ‘throne’, while you can concentrate on the act itself. It’s also a nice point of view on your behalf since you’d be able to get a closer look at your partner’s cock and see what you’re actually doing.
Eye contact is imperative if you want your partner to really feel it. Communicate and talk dirty if it excites you both.
Bedside Service
The ‘Bedside Service’ is aptly named because it’s the default position for a ‘Happy Ending’. These handjob services are offered in shady spas and where sexual favors are allowed. Naturally, the ‘masseuse’ won’t be kneeling or sitting down in front, but rather to the side of the bed and sitting on a chair.
It’s an easy-access position because your man can do a lot more compared to the kneeling-in-front or the standing handjob. He can use both hands to fondle your breasts or even do a little fingering in the process. The eye-to-eye distance is closer, too. That said, it’s a good starting point for couples who want to give handjobs a try and want things to be normal and proper.
You’ll have several options of your own while pleasuring your man, but it’s mostly a straightforward stroke-until-he-comes deal. Also, you can do the same to your erogenous zones and do a mutual orgasm, which will feel like traditional sex.
You Lying While He Stands
This is sort of a newcomer in the world of handjobs, but it’s gaining popularity due to being prominent in porn videos. Your man gets an amazing point of view as he stares you down from above while you ‘milk’ him to ejaculate.
You start by lying down comfortably on the bed, while he spreads his knees across your body, his cock pointing at your tits or face. Using either hand, you do the stroking motion and let him finish on your breasts or face.
Knowing this, you should prepare beforehand and have accepted that there will be a gooey mess. If your partner wants to try this but you don’t want to deal with having to wash off the cum, it’s still your final decision. You can gently tell your man that you want something neater, like the Bedside Service or the Standard.
Experimenting On Your Own
Handjobs don’t have to conform to standards. If both of you are feeling adventurous, then you can experiment or try different positions until you come to an agreement.
Communication is the key to success, and this applies to when you’re giving a handjob. Aside from the position, you’ll want to check in with your partner now and then- does he give grunts of satisfaction, or does he seem bored?
Time, experience, and handjob sessions will tell if your partner wants to continue. You might even find a favorite handjob position and technique that really teases your man and makes him harder and cum more than usual. Don’t be afraid to suggest to your partner that you’ll be giving him a handjob- he might have been fantasizing about it but is too shy to ask for it.
5 Handjob Techniques You Should Try
In your search for how to give a handjob, you’ll inevitably come across techniques on how to best use your hands to pleasure your partner.
Usual Up and Down
The most basic of handjob stroking techniques. Here, all you need to do is know how to properly grip your partner’s cock (not too hard nor too soft) and follow an up-and-down movement. You can alternate the speed and the length of your stroke- try focusing on the base, then switch it up and include the head on the next.
Twist and Stroke
Do this technique with plenty of lube so your man won’t feel uncomfortable or pain with the friction you’re about to generate. As an alternative, you can use your saliva and make a show of it to turn him on. Imagine opening a jar of pickles or mayonnaise, but instead of just one area, you’re moving up and down simultaneously.
Stroke and Suck
If you really want to give your partner a good time then you’ll have to use more than your hand for this technique. As you do the usual up and down or twist and stroke, you’ll be using your lips or tongue to lick or suck his balls and base. You’ll have to be mindful that you’re doing two things to make it work.
Down and Down
The down and down requires two hands working in conjunction with each other. Start by stroking at the top of his cock going down, then instead of going back up you release the hold. Then do the same with your other hand, stroking and letting go at the base. You can switch the rhythm by doing one hand at a time, or you can smother your partner’s manhood with alternating downward strokes.
A Bit of Anal Work
Adventurous couples can give this a try, but make sure that your man cleans up beforehand. You can insert a lubed finger to massage your partner’s anal opening, or maybe work your tongue in there a bit, depending on what you’re more comfortable doing.
Sex Toys You Can Bring to a Handjob
Sex toys can add spice to the bedroom, regardless of activity. If you want to make the most of your handjob session and make it an event that your partner won’t forget soon, try these five sex toys.
Vibrator
Those who want a mutual orgasm or finish should invest in a good vibrator. You can get stimulated as you do the same for your partner. Vibrators come in all shapes and sizes- you can choose the one you want, and if there’s a remote, you can hand over the controls to your partner!
Anal Plug
This works the same as having a vibrator in place. An anal plug offers an extra sensory experience for those who are extra sensitive in that particular region. You can choose the material or design you want, then put it in when you’re ready to give a handjob.
Lube
Lube is important because handjobs produce a lot of friction. The good thing about lube is that it’s practically made for handjobs- it makes your strokes slippery, which makes him feel like he’s penetrating a wet vagina or getting a blowjob. Plus, it’s safe to use and there are products that offer extra features, such as making the cock extra sensitive or adding scents and flavors into the mix.
Costumes
Fancy wearing a maid costume as you pleasure your man’s cock? Costumes make you feel bolder and add to the visual experience. If you or your partner has a fantasy you both would like to try, then definitely go for it. Along the way, you can add accessories, such as toy cuffs, a sexy mask, or maybe even some ropes (if you’re into bonding and whatnot).
Another Person
Step it up even further by inviting someone (with consent from that person and your partner, of course) to do some bedroom play. It’s a ‘toy’ that’s reserved for the most open-minded of couples. You don’t have to do it, but it’s a mind-blowing experience if you do.
Handjob FAQs
How to give a handjob?
A handjob is the act of stroking your partner’s cock using your hands until he comes. Depending on your mood or preference, you can provide the basic ‘stroke until ejaculation’ technique, or if you have the time, the ‘stroke and twist’ technique.
What should you do after a handjob?
If your man hasn’t cummed yet, you can make love until both of you reach orgasm. However, most couples commit to a handjob until the finish, or when he shoots a load.
What if there’s no lube available?
You can use alternative liquids that can make your partner’s manhood wet and slippery. Some options include lotions, baby oil, or soap, but you should remember to wash it off thoroughly afterward!
Is handjob better than blowjob?
Not really. It depends on the couple and what they like. If you like giving head, then go for it. Otherwise, a good ol’ handjob should do the trick.
Conclusion - How to Give a Handjob Your Man Will Never Forget
By now you should be familiar with techniques and ways on how to give an incredible handjob. It’s an essential skill that you should learn if you want to add to your sexual repertoire. Guys respect girls who can give a good handjob- they might like you more and give you the best pounding you’ve ever had as a reward. Try the handjob methods listed above so you can be a sex goddess in the bedroom!