How to Talk About Sex Toys With Your Partner
Sex toys are more advanced and more popular than ever. They come in all shapes, sizes, and with all kinds of amazing features to please hundreds of preferences and kinks.
A big part of why sex toys are more popular now is because of their ability to bring a couple together.
If you read blogs and social media posts about sex toys, you’ll see that they’re regarded as one of the best ways to rekindle the passion in a relationship!
Because of this, many people want to try sex toys, but what if you’ve never talked about sex toys with your partner before?
In this blog post, we’re going to go over the best ways to broach the subject with your partner.
1. Are You Communicating?
You should be!
Every good relationship is built on several pillars: trust, honesty, respect, empathy, and communication, to name a few.
Before talking to your partner about sex toys, or even sex in general, you should already have built a strong foundation of communication.
The more open and communicative you are with each other, the easier it will be to talk about any erotic subject, like sex, sexual positions, sexual preferences, and sex toys.
You and your partner should talk every day, and we don’t just mean engaging in small talk.
Ask your partner how they’re feeling. Ask them about their past relationships. Ask them if there’s anything you’re doing in bed that they don’t like.
The more you communicate with your partner, the more trust you’ll build with each other, and you need a lot of trust before you explore new sexual horizons together.
2. Listen to Your Partner
Don’t just talk at your partner, talk to them. This means that you’ll be doing a lot of listening too.
Listen to what they say about what they like or dislike, about their boundaries, and about what they’ve done with previous partners.
By listening to your partner, you can learn what to do (or not to do) in a sexual setting, and if you want to please them during sex (and want them to please you), then you need to listen to what they’ve said.
3. Choose the Right Time
Now that you’ve built a strong foundation of communication with your partner, you can try broaching the subject of sex toys.
Be smart about it!
Listen and observe.
If your partner is having a bad day, or a really great day, don’t bring the subject up at all.
Don’t start talking about sex and what you’d like to do if your partner is emotional about something else.
Instead, you should pick a normal day when they’re calm, relaxed, and not focused on something.
4. “Have You Ever Tried a Sex Toy Before?”
We’ve read some posts about people signing their partner’s email in sex toy sites, hoping that they’ll get ads for them.
Don’t be indirect or weird about it!
Simply ask, “have you ever tried a sex toy before?”
Again, this should be in the right context, ideally in the middle of a conversation where you’re each asking each other questions. An easy way to get into a conversation like this is to start talking over dinner or another time when you’re alone together, and ask them other things about themselves or their college life. It’s okay if you’ve already talked about something like this before.
Simply say, “remember when you told me about your first time?” Or something along those lines.
The idea is to get them thinking about their sexual journey, about what they’ve tried (or haven’t) and about what they’d like to try.
5. “The Reason I’m Asking Is”
After you ask, “have you ever tried a sex toy before?” your partner is likely to ask you, “why are you asking?”
Now it’s time for you to be honest.
Tell your partner that the reason why you’re asking them about sex toys is that you’d like to try one…ideally with them!
Ask them what they think about that and how they feel about the idea.
Listen to what your partner says and, when they respond, ask them about how they feel. Therefore, communication should be open and honest when introducing new elements to the sexual game. In discussing adult toys, such as women sex toys from Lelo, with your partner, it's important to express the specific aspects that intrigue you. Highlighting the potential for heightened pleasure and intimacy, share why this particular toy captures your interest and how it aligns with your desires. Emphasize the idea of incorporating it into your shared sexual experiences as a couple, fostering a sense of collaboration and exploration. By framing the conversation around mutual pleasure and connection, you create a space where both partners feel valued and understood, setting the stage for a more open and fulfilling sexual dialogue.
6. What If They Say No?
If your partner says that they’re not interested in sex toys and don’t want to try them with you, it’s game over on this subject!
You should respect their choice and you should not try to bring the subject up again.
Remember, every good relationship is built upon respect, and this is especially crucial when it comes to respecting boundaries and preferences.
No means no!
If your partner says “no” to trying anything sexual, you should never try to “convince” them into it. When it comes to sex, even thinking about “convincing” someone to try or do something is very dangerous because it involves crossing their boundaries.
“They said no, but maybe I can convince them anyway.”
That is a very wrong and dangerous thought to have.
7. They Said Yes!
If your partner says that they’re willing to try sex toys with you, then congratulations!
We can move on to the fun part!
8. Show Them Your Favorite Toys
If you’re reading this blog, chances are that you’ve been interested in sex toys for a while.
Maybe you’ve tried them before and have one that you think your partner would like, or maybe you’ve never had the chance to use one and want to try it with your partner.
Whatever the case may be, it’s likely that you have one (or several) sex toys bookmarked or at the top of your search engine history.
Show them to your partner!
Now they can listen to you.
Tell them why this toy interests you, how it could please you, and how you could incorporate it into your sexual experiences as a couple!
9. Let Them Pick a Toy For Themselves
Show your partner some of your favorite sex toy sites or manufacturers.
We recommend you let your partner browse these pages:
Your partner will soon realize that the world of sex toys is fascinating! There are countless sex toys to discover, each packed with innovative features and designs to please even the pickiest person, or the hardest to reach sweet spot!
Let your partner browse through the sites at their leisure and, when they’re done, you should buy a pair of sex toys for each other.
It will be a fun, romantic, and intimate game for the both of you!
Great Sex Toys for Couples
Here are some amazing sex toys for couples.
They’re the perfect thing to look for after talking to your partner!
If your partner has a vulva, you should check out these toys to give them the most pleasure:
Skylar is a Clit-Sucking, G-Spot Tapping Vibrator.
It’s one of Juntame’s best-selling products and for a good reason: it’s the perfect tool for blended orgasms.
With a vibrating dildo for penetration and stimulating the A-spot, a clit-sucking short end with 7 suction intensities, and a tapping finger to please your G-spot with 7 tapping modes, Skylar stimulates 3 of your partner’s sweetest spots for a triple orgasm!
Find out more about Skylar here.
Is your partner a fan of oral sex? Then Tongue Demon is the perfect toy for them!
Tongue Demon is a flapping tongue vibrator that goes above and beyond what any real tongue can do.
With 10 vibration settings, 10 swinging frequencies, and a warming feature that makes it feel like a real tongue, this is without a doubt one of the most innovative and inventive sex toys around!
We can guarantee that your partner has never seen something quite like this realistic, multi-talented tongue. And we’re sure they’ll love it!
Find out more about Tongue Demon here.
If your partner has a penis, you should check out these toys to give them the most pleasure:
If your partner is comfortable with anal stimulation, Mont is something they’ll have to see to believe.
It’s an inflatable butt plug that targets the P-spot with a unique feature: inflation and vibration! Mont inflates and deflates in order to stimulate the prostate, vibrating as it goes!
What’s great about Mont is that it’s completely unisex, meaning that both of you can use it!
Find out more about Mont here.
If your partner has a penis but isn’t comfortable with anal play, don’t worry!
There’s a wide selection of male masturbator toys out there for them to try, and Kai 2 is one of the best!
Kai 2 actually combines a stroker and a blowjob simulator in one amazing package, using innovative suction technology to provide one of the most realistic blowjob experiences that sex toys can offer!
As if that weren’t enough, its internal vibration and raised internal beads massage the penis with targeted accuracy, giving it an intense and thrilling handjob!
Kai 2 will make your partner never use their hand to masturbate ever again!
Find out more about Kai 2 here.
10. Last But Not Least!
You’re not done yet!
After you and your partner have picked out your sex toys, you still have some talking to do! Or you can watch something sexual together!
Like with any new sexual experience, incorporating sex toys into your lovemaking should be preceded and followed by a conversation about boundaries and preferences.
Before using the sex toy, make sure both you and your partner establish what you’re expecting out of using it, what you’re excited about, what you’re nervous about, what your boundaries are, and what your wants are.
After using the sex toy, you should have another conversation with your partner. Here are some things to go over:
Did you like using the sex toy?
What did you like best?
Was there anything you didn’t like?
How could it have been better?
Could I have done anything differently?
Did I touch any no-go zones for you?
Those are just a few of the questions you might ask each other.
Remember: the best sexual experiences are about mutual pleasure. So ask questions about how you could best please your partner, and how they could best please you!
Reading blogs and guides on the internet is very informative, but now is the time to actually talk to your partner!
Don’t be nervous!
Remember, a great relationship is built on great communication. If you’re interested in sex toys and want to try them out, your partner should listen and understand.
However, remember to be mindful of their boundaries and respect them.
Now go talk to your partner!
Who knows? Maybe they’ve been wanting to talk to you about using sex toys too!