Butt Play 101: A Beginner's Guide to Safe and Pleasurable
Within societal norms, butt play is a strange, alien concept that only the most daring try. However, with the right mindset and the use of sex toys, it’s considered one of the most exciting ways to spice up the bedroom.
Butt play is actually safe and enjoyable as long as there’s unforced consent and you know your way around it. For anal play to work, you must understand and prepare for it to increase the chances of great sex.
What is Butt Play?
Butt play has many terms of endearment, including anal sex, anal masturbation, butt sex, anal play, and more. It’s more than just fondling or spanking the external butt area (which is a part of vanilla sex, roleplaying, and BDSM) as it involves actual penetration of the anus.
The usual reaction to those who haven’t tried it before is ‘ouch!’, and understandably so. In daily life, we wouldn’t think of having our asses entered or poked unless it’s a medical check-up or when you’re doing a number two. Done raw, anal sex will most likely be uncomfortable and not something you’d look forward to again.
You see, the secret to amazing butt play is preparation, preparation, and yes, more preparation. It has to be planned ahead of time, with partners talking things out and agreeing to do it. Do not attempt to go with butt sex without having plenty of lube on hand, and cleaning up thoroughly beforehand.
Keeping It Ready Before Butt Play
One of the first things you’ll learn about personal hygiene is to keep your butt clean. It’s a prerogative to wash or wipe after you poop, and to scrub it when you’re in the bath or taking a shower.
In butt play, hygiene is more intensive because there are a lot of factors involved. A finger, anal toy, or penis will actually touch not just the outer rim but go beyond that. Therefore, a casual wash won’t cut it- you’ll need to be ready and remember a few things.
It’s worth noting that poop won’t always be present in the anus, and there’s a low chance that your finger or dildo won’t come in contact with it. However, there may be a bit of residue (especially if you go deep enough) but some soap and water should be able to take care of that.
As a courtesy and to ensure your butt play goes as planned, remember to tidy up and go if you feel like it beforehand. Then, take a shower and pay special attention to your anus. Wash it thoroughly with soap, and wash your hands in the process. You wouldn’t want a short-lived anal session, especially if you’ve just hit the sweet spot.
There are some who are uncomfortable with skin-on-skin contact. If this is the case, use a sex toy or a latex glove that has lots of lube on the surface. You can try douching or agree to do anal play in the shower, where you can clean up quickly.
Start with Butt Toys
Butt toys are an excellent choice if you’re looking to start out with anal sex. You can get these three recommended sex toys and explore from there.
Demon - Remote Control Prostate Massager & Vibrating Penis Ring
As intimidating as the name sounds, Demon is actually a great first option for those who want to try out butt play. It’s a prostate massager with a unique penis ring designed to encircle the testicles and provide thrilling vibrations. A small remote control device dictates the action, namely the flicking and vibration mechanism.
The prostate massager has a rolling bead design to stimulate the p-spot, while the penis ring vibrates to further excite you in the bedroom. You get a triple massage (testicles, perineum, and prostate) in a skin-safe silicone material. At roughly four inches, Demon is the perfect size and it doesn’t feel too invasive. In fact, you’ll love the sensation in your p-spot so much that you’ll want to have it in your next session!
Demon can be played solo or with a partner for unlocking new scenarios. Hand over the remote and you’ll be at their mercy, or just go with the flow and penetrate as you get extra stimulation on the side. Vanilla sex becomes so much more interesting with this on hand as there will be several things going on as you penetrate.
Demon is IPX6 waterproof for shower play, and the nine vibrating modes should give you new ideas to try alone or with your loved one. Last but not least, there’s a rechargeable built-in battery that can take juice via USB.
Pros
- Simple yet packs a lot of features
- Stimulates the testicles and p-spot simultaneously
- Rolling bead mechanism
- Has a remote control
Habiki - Hollow Vibrating Butt Plug & Prostate Massager
A forward-thinking butt toy with an innovative design, Habiki is just as pleasurable as it looks. At its core, Habiki is a butt plug with a lot to give and it’s more than a welcome addition to any kink or sex scenario.
Habiki is shorter than your average anal vibrator, but it packs a lot of nice features inside its silicone shell. Like any butt play device, you can choose from nine vibrating modes and feel every tremor when you put it in. At first glance, you’d think that it’s a mini fan due to its hollow design, but when you’ve tried Habiki you’ll understand why the device is made that way.
Habiki plugs in easier as there’s greater flexibility, and the surprising thing is that it still feels like a full-fledged butt toy. The sides give a little in insertion mode, and expands to cover the p-spot and the anal lining. The end is wide and serves as a nice anchor to prevent the butt plug from slipping inside.
Speaking of which, the vibration motor is more than enough to produce earth-shaking orgasms. Habiki is made for both sexes, whether you want something filling your bum, for clitoral and perineal stimulation, or if you’re looking for a pseudo double down with your partner. Part of the joy of having a butt plug is its versatility in the bedroom- add vibration and it’s like an extra hand!
Pros
- Hollow design for easier insertion
- Can be used in many different ways and sex positions
- Compact and portable
Agas - Thrusting Butt Plug with Remote Control
Now if you want a full-fledged sex toy that can do the job of a real lover, then you should definitely give Agas a try. It’s categorized as a butt plug, but in reality it’s a great device that can act as an automatic dildo in a pinch.
Described as a ‘high energy anal plug’, Agas stands around 6 inches in length and has internal parts that provide realistic thrusts. Girls will love it as much as guys will, thanks to penetrative options. In short, you can use it for female masturbation on both ends and when you want to experience new levels of orgasms.
Agas sports a curvy shape that bulges in the middle and the tip. The ‘head’ pushes forward at the press of a button, and you can command the pace seven ways. The base is wide for safety reasons, and it makes for a more comfortable hold. Agas shines in multiplay scenarios and solo sessions, along with plenty of lube to take for the ride.
All in all, Agas should prove to be a nice addition to your sex toy repertoire. It’s shareable, compact, and offers hours of endless fun and possibilities.
Pros
- Thrusting mechanism for him or her
- Wide base for peace of mind
- A single charge lasts a solid hour
- IPX7 waterproof
The 7 Best Positions for Anal Sex
Shower Sex
While shower sex isn’t technically a position, there are so many ways you can bring anal stimulation or penetration into play. The anus is readily accessible no matter what position you’re in, from standing under the shower head to lying down on the bathtub, or bent over the sink.
Shower sex complements butt play in more ways than one. You can get clean while getting dirty (you know what we mean), and you or your partner can wash any part of their body at any time.
Solo Masturbation
Did you know that anal sex can be done solo? Anal masturbation is great if you want to experiment first before going live. You can dictate the pace, how far you want to go, and when to stop and finish your play session.
Spooning
Spooning is no longer tied to cuddling or as a sex aftercare. It has the added benefit of reassurance as you’ll be near your partner as you penetrate them from behind. Assume a spooning position with the legs bent and the anus ready. The penetration comes from behind, and both parties can move as they want or stroke other sensitive parts, like the breasts or clitoris.
Laying Down Doggy
It’s one of the simplest and easiest ways to begin anal sex. Your partner lies down flat on the bed, and you’ll enter the ass at the top position. Penetration can be deep, so it’s best to be mindful and have enough strength not to collapse on your partner. For added spice, you can grab other sensitives or gently pull on your partner’s hair.
Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl
Anal sex through cowgirl or reverse cowgirl is easy enough- instead of vaginal penetration, you can direct your focus on the ass instead. The entry might be a bit awkward at first, especially if it’s entirely new, but keep at it and the position will feel comfortable after a while.
Cowgirl will give you the full frontal view and you can caress your lover’s breasts, while reverse cowgirl is more alluring as you’ll see the shape of your partner’s curves and hair.
The Lotus Pose
The lotus position is when both of you are sitting and straddling each other while the genitals are connected. It’s an intimate sex position that’s also perfect for anal play because you’re literally an inch or two away from each other.
If you haven’t done the regular lotus pose before then it’s recommended you spend a few minutes getting familiar with it. Then, go ahead if you’re both comfortable and ready.
Doctor-Patient Style
This anal sex position assumes the normal position when a patient goes in for a rectal or prostate exam. The receiver gets to lie down on their side while the partner stands up or kneels beside him or her. The receiver controls the action in terms of pace and depth while the other stands up and delivers the goods.
Use Lots (and Lots) of Lube
Butt play and anal sex should come with a warning, ‘do not attempt unless you have plenty of lube on hand’
Unlike the vagina, the anus does not have a way of producing juices when something gets inside. Therefore, you’ll need some help and this is where sex lubricants come into play. The good news is that any lube is acceptable, and you can choose the scent or flavor you want.
If using a butt plug or vibrator, apply some lube on the device and at the outside of the anus. You can also work some in using a gloved finger to ease into it. Lube application isn’t limited to just the beginning- use it as needed in the middle of your session or when you want a wet and wild finish.
Cleaning Up After Butt Play
Now we’ve literally arrived at the end of butt play, and it’s time to clean up. If you’ve followed our ‘Keeping It Ready’ guide, then you pretty much won’t need to do anything but clean the toys and things that were used during anal play.
We recommend preparing a pack of wet wipes beforehand so you can continue with butt play even after an incident. When the sex is over, you and your partner can take a hot shower or bath to relax and wind down.
