Have you ever asked a friend what fingering meant, and heard that it was as easy as just “putting it in?”
You sort of believe it because when you dug around and checked many porn videos, it did seem like all the work was solely on how smooth you insert your fingers in the vagina or anus.
But then you finally decided to test it out and like some stroke of bad luck, you had a hard time putting it in, or worse, hardly felt good about it.
Instead, you just wanted to take it out.
It got worse when you tried it with a partner because you made someone else feel uncomfortable with your lack of skills.
Don’t you worry, though! Sometimes, the simple things take the greatest work and we will show you how to finger like a pro!
What is fingering?
Let’s build our foundation first! According to Planned Parenthood, fingering is when someone uses their finger(s) or hand to stimulate their partner’s vagina or anus. It is considered low-risk, safer sex, which means there’s only a very small chance of spreading an infection.
Why is fingering important?
Cosmopolitan said it best – fingering is an important part of sex, especially during foreplay and orgasm. Think of this as like a racecar. You need to warm it up with the right tools first before you send it speeding down the pleasure track.
You may also need this to help it get to the finish line because penetration isn’t the only answer to orgasm. According to the same article: around 80% of women and people with vulvas can’t climax from just penetration and also require clitoral stimulation to get there.
It’s easy to underestimate fingering but now that we know how important this is, let’s breakdown how to finger someone with Cosmopolitan, Mashable, and Teen Vogue:
Tips for fingering:
- Before anything else, refresh your anatomy! The clit may be the most famous part of the vagina, there are other parts that deserve to be pleasured too like the inner labia, outer labia and the perineum! In fact, you can explore these areas first before focusing on the clit.
- Make sure that you are comfortable in what you’re about to do – and this applies if you’re doing it with a partner as well. Make time to establish boundaries as it makes it clear of what you’re going to do and what are off-limits. This is quite helpful in easing the anxiety that usually comes with trying something different.
- Then, make sure to keep your fingernails short! The longer nails we have, the higher chances of it hurting the sensitive muscle of the vagina and causing an infection.
- Next, set the scene. As with any sex act, allowing yourself or your partner to get turned on either through creating a sensual environment, dirty talk or well-meaning touches, will raise the temperature just right so you or your partner will be ready for more.
- Afterwards, work your way in. This is where the fun begins because your touches can start anywhere from the neck down to the stomach. What’s key here is to give each part of the body the worship it deserves. Work your way down until you arrive at the clitoris which is a little nub under the hood of the inner labia.
- Once you’re there, start easy with one or two fingers to experiment multiple ways to play with it. Personally, I enjoy rubbing it in circles as it gets me turned on faster than utilizing other directions like the up-down or side-to-side.
- Remember to be patient – finding what feels good takes time but once you find it, never stop! Keep the movements consistent as it helps build you up for the big “O”.
Now that the foundation is set, we also have a few more tips for you to try out to spice up your fingering techniques:
- Experiment with different positions! While lying down on your back is a classic, you can also try sitting, standing, propping your hips up with a pillow, kneeling on all fours, or any other position in which you find pleasure. You can also try different locations like on your bed, in a chair, or in the shower.
- Use lube! The truth is, natural lubrication isn’t enough. In fact, if you solely rely on this, you are also increasing your risk of vaginal tears (even if they’re small, they take a few days to heal) or other infections and we don’t want that!
- Try toys! Of course, this comes after you’ve mastered fingering with your own hands. There are several kinds of vibrators that can help you out like the bullet vibrator, g-spot vibrator and the rabbit vibrator! If you’re looking for recommendations, we have a few right here:
Recommended toys for fingering:
Magic Pen – Pinpoint Clit Vibrator & Nipple Stimulator
This pinpoint clit vibrator packs a punch despite its small size. It’s like a naughty professor who holds a pointer to your hottest, most sensitive places. It is made with environmentally friendly materials that are water-resistant, easy to clean. This is perfect for women like me who are always busy and need something as on-the-pulse as this pretty thing!
Crave – G-spot Vibrator with Rotating Head
This one has the best of both worlds as it’s not just a remote control vibrator with 9 varying patterns, it also has a 360-degree rotating head that gives you a different but still intense sensation anywhere in your vagina.
Risque – G Spot Vibrator with Clit Licker
This might be the craziest out of the rest because while it has all the qualities of the previous two, what sets this apart is that it has a clit licker to simulate the feeling of having someone eat your clit out like it’s a goddess! Definitely something you should have if you want to go the extra mile.
FAQs
You can never have enough information about fingering because together with BeBodyWise, we’re giving some common FAQs that you should take note of:
Can Fingering Cause Pregnancy?
Fingering can’t make you pregnant. Only sperm that fertilizes an egg will do the dirty work of creating life in your future family member! Be sure to wash hands before fingering so there’s no chance for any infections or diseases from being passed onto yourself
Is Fingering Good for Health?
Fingering oneself is good for one’s health because it releases the endorphin oxytocin, which helps you relax and feel at ease. There are no side effects from doing this so there really isn’t anything stopping people from getting their own satisfaction!
What are the benefits of fingering?
Reduce Stress
When you pleasure yourself, your brain releases chemicals that are designed to make you feel better. These hormones include endorphins and dopamine which work as natural stress relievers! They also help relieve sleep problems by Inducing feelings of joyfulness in the body while producing calming effects on mind/body connection.
Relieve Cramps
What do you know? The strength and intensity of an intense sexual encounter can relieve pain! This is because it releases endorphins, oxytocin (which creates feelings like love), dopamine – these act as natural relief from cramps.
Confidence
You know your body better than anyone else, and when you start fingering yourself regularly it’s fun to explore all of those new places. You might be surprised at what turns you on or off about the act–and that knowledge can help boost confidence!
Strengthen the Pelvic Floor
The intense feeling of pleasure that you feel during fingering can be attributed to the increase in heart rate and muscle tone, as well as a strengthening pelvic region. This act also helps lift off any tension from your lower back allowing for an easier escape from these areas if needed!
Before letting you go
It’s important to remember that fingering yourself or your partner requires communication. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about the speed, intensity and technique of the ministrations because after all, this is your pleasure we’re talking about.
Doing this serves as the bridge between going at it blind and going at it with confidence as well as providing a pleasurable experience that you’ll want to repeat over and over again. We’re so excited to see you become a pro at this and add another one to your empowered sex reportoire.
Conclusion
There you have it! We’ve shared with you what fingering is, why it’s important, the tips and tricks to finger yourself or your partner and answered some FAQs you’ll definitely need to come prepared for a night of intense hand-work. If there’s one final thing to say, it’s to not forget to drink water! It’s going to be a sizzling encounter and we don’t want you to burn out!
If you have any more questions about this, feel free to comment down below and I’d be happy to answer it for you as soon as possible!
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